As far
back as I can remember I was called "the artist" by my teachers.
In high school in the late 60's it was cool to be an artist.
I found it extremely convenient to belong to a group that was a non-group
by it's own definition. I took illustration and design in night school and
knew by the second week of classes that I would never be able to put up with
an art director. I was too immature and stubborn to work as an illustrator,
and I didn't have anything to say as an artist, to be working toward becoming
a painter, let alone the money to go to college. So I went to beauty college
through night school and cut hair for a few years. I never fell out of love
with art , I continued to take classes in night school and went to Italy
in the early 80's to see as much as I could in the three weeks vacation I
had. I put down my brushes in the 70's and twenty years later picked them
up again.
To paint because I could, had never been a good enough
reason for me. If you had asked what it would take for me to drop everything
after twenty years and start over as a working artist, I would have
said, It would take a miracle. In the spring of 1994 it was reported in our
local paper that an apparition of the Virgin Mary was appearing on the wall
of the Catholic Church in Colfax, CA, just 15 miles from where I live. A
friend called me up and talked me into going with her to see it. When we
got there the Bishop was just coming out of the church, channel 10
news was interviewing him and we listened in to the conversation.
When asked what he thought about what he saw in the church,
he said that he thought it was a shadow on the wall that resembled
a woman holding a child. Well OK, If the Bishop says it's a shadow , then
it's a shadow. I still wanted to see it, so we waited in line and eventually
got in. What I saw was a shadow on the wall, that resembled a woman holding
a child. What the Bishop didn't mention, was what one might feel when they
got in there.
Not being Catholic, I had no idea what to expect on entering
the church. The sweet smell of incense and candles were first to hit the
senses, then it took a few minutes to adjust to the darkness. I could feel
the energy in the church, it was amazing. People were in what can only be
de scribed as a state of ecstasy. The whole church was reciting the Hail
Mary. My friend Mary (purely a coincidence) and I went up to the balcony
and we could see the shadow on the wall clearly. The true scope of what I
had seen didn’t register with me immediately. It took days of having
that image cross my mind, on a regular basis for me to “get” what
it was, I had experienced.
We stayed for a little while, then left. I walked out
not a believer, but with an open mind to the possibility that a symbol of
unconditional love could impart those same emotions upon the observer. It
was definitely something to ponder. I started to think about how powerful
the image I saw really was. The emotions it created transcended religion,
and in that moment I knew that I would start painting again.
What I did not possess twenty years earlier was inspiration
and since 1994 I have painted 65 paintings, 13 of them Mary paintings. My
work is about my humor, my spirituality, my odd view of life and sometimes
purely about color. More often than not , my art is about all of these things.
As a partly self-taught artist, I have studied the masters through reading
and visiting museums, and copying. I began to paint pet portraits as a way
to make a living as an artist . It soon became apparent that my clients weren't
interested in "painted photographs" of their animal companions, but desired
portraits that captured the personality and humor of their pets.
Currently I am paintings people portraits and exploring
the limits of my chosen medium, acrylics. I am also exploring the limits
of my ability as an artist, never content to stay in a comfortable and safe
place.
b.t. dittberner
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Please read my personal story on the Artist's Stories Page.
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